How I achieve work-life balance as a physician

When I set my eyes on stethoscope and my mind on white coat, the warnings about personal life was endless. "It is a 24/7 job. Think about becoming a professor with lots of vacation time" said my dad. "Be prepared to miss parties, holidays and family functions" said my mom. More skeptical comments poured in from many others that made me a little edgy. We physicians have a stereotypical image of work mongers with no reprieve. White coat workers dealing with disease and death. It is an irony that we as health care professional who give lectures to our patients about eating right, sleeping tight, are the ones who are often running from offices to hospitals missing many meals and spending sleepless nights.

I, like many others juggle with personal and professional responsibilities. Planning, preparing and most importantly unwinding has helped me keep those adrenaline rush under control.
➤Prudent Planning: Being a typical "Type A" personality I have always planned my days well ahead. I usually go through my week's schedule on Sunday to give me an idea on how to prepare myself for both personal and professional demands. If there is any conflicts I try to fix it then and there.
➤Practical preparation: Putting the planning to action requires a lot of co-ordination and time management. I pack lunch, set clothes for my kids and myself the night before so that we waste little time in the morning searching for a pair of socks or belt. I have a set schedule for dinner during the week days that is simple and easy to follow. I finish most of the chores like laundry, grocery shopping during the weekend so that weekday evenings are spent entirely with kids.
➤Modus operandi: Most important change I did with my work schedule is to start early and finish early. This way I not only waste time in traffic but also give my patient the flexibility of scheduling their doctor's visit before they hit work. I keep my office hours strictly for patient care and try to get as much work as possible while at office. We have a office policy of not allowing lunches from any salesperson. I limit my interaction with drug reps to a quick hello and signature at the waiting room. All my staff members are encouraged to communicate with me through our EHR messaging system. Monthly face to face meeting with my staff gives me the dedicated time to discuss about their concerns and come up with a plan . I also log in every night to check labs, send messages and do Rx refills which saves me tremendous amount of time during the work day. I allot specific to-do list for my staff so that work flow is streamlined. I keep one day a week as an administrative day when my staff catch up with those lengthy phone calls with insurance companies or carry out those ever frustrating "PA" process while I do my nursing home rounds.

➤Power naps: Do not underestimate the "Power of power naps". I have always been a big advocate of power naps and cannot stress enough how much it has helped me to be very productive in the evening. Since I come home with my boys I do get ( rather make) time for a quick 20 minute nap that seem to revitalize me.The rest of the evening until their bed time is exclusively for my children which is as fulfilling to me as my white coat job.

➤ I have a discovered a few ways to unwind after work which is both relaxing as well as purposeful like cooking, gardening. I not only get my quota of physical activity but also get my chores done. Another new hobby I very much enjoy is blogging. My personal blog covers a wide range of topics from real life events to abstract narrative which helps me connect with friends with all walks of lives.On the other hand I maintain my grounds in the field of medicine through my health blog that constantly pushes me to be up-to-date.

➤Splendid Saturdays: Most of us would prefer a golf course to an examination room on Saturdays.Meeting friends will make more sense on Saturdays than meeting the "Meaningful use criteria"! I beg to differ.  I have a short but a packed schedule on Saturdays which has helped my practice tremendously. Working on Saturdays has been very fulfilling to me for many reasons, less traffic on the street, empty parking spaces, gratified patients and laid back atmosphere. By the time my family finishes their brunch, I'm home for some quality family time.

How do we find balance between a personal and professional life? Some would even ask is there a perfect balance ? The answer is in our hands. Physicians belong to the society of high achievers. We have always pushed us to go beyond what it is expected from us. So it is only natural that we continue set our goals higher. There is nothing wrong in aiming big and working hard but not at the cost one's piece of mind. Of late physician burnout has increased exponentially, suicide rate and sudden cardiac death continue to raise among us. We need to fix it,before this Stress syndrome sucks out the life from us.

Being in this noble profession has opened my eyes to the world. I learnt that key to happiness is being yourself, to pursue your heart's desire. The simple joys of life cannot be measured in dollar amount. I get up every morning eager to put on my white coat knowing that I can make a difference in someone's life and I come home with same enthusiasm knowing that I'm going to have personally gratifying time with my loved ones. 

Color blind

It was heart breaking to hear about the killing of a young Indian man in Kansas last week. A senseless act of violence brought the life of a 32 year old loving husband, a caring brother and adorable son to an abrupt end. His American dream turning into a nightmare! Until that day I have always felt safe in American soil. My brown skin, unpronounceable Indian name or my desi accent did not alienate me from others. I felt a part of the multicultural American fabric as many other immigrants. This incident wiped off all securities in my mind in an instant!The country that welcomed immigrants from all over the world with open arms is now closing its doors. Shall I say is made to close its doors! Fear swept across the Indian diaspora as we look for an answer. What shall we tell our children? How do we prepare ourselves from these racist attacks? Crippling fear, overwhelming sadness and above all precarious future are the dark clouds above of our heads.  As law abiding Americans we all take pride in everything American irrespective of the color of our skin, country of origin or religious affiliation.
 Martin Luther King's famous speech says " I have a  dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character". It is about time to create a color blind society. We all need to unite under one common goal of protecting human life. Human life, irrespective of race, religion, etc is precious and we all can do our part in spreading the message of seeing every human being as our own, to feel their pain and appreciate their differences. 

The realm of relationship

Let's admit it, we all have felt jealous of someone at some point or other. May be he/she is better looking, endowed with great skills or just the type who outsmarts everyone. Recent article in a local newspaper titled " Friends you don't want your partner to meet"triggered a series of interesting discussions that led me to ponder on these lines. Feeling of jealously when in a relationship as much as it reflects one's insecurity it also reflects one's love for their partner. There is that hidden pleasure in knowing that our significant other is feeling jealous and within limits being possessive also means that boundless love for someone special. That love that you don't want it to share it with anyone else!
 
One of my friend from college days had a super possessive boyfriend who would go to her college and punch her seniors for merely ragging her. May be they flirted a little in the name of ragging! We used to tease her saying  " He has sign on your back - My property, no trespassing allowed strictly!" It is okay if done within limits like many other things but that special person in your life should not feel suffocated. Feeling of suffocation even with love can be detrimental to a relationship.

Another very interesting category is your "Ex" who is your friend currently. That category is too complicated for many partners to digest even if one swears that they have erased any such feeling. This reminds me of the award winning malayalum movie called "Olangal". In that movie the hero Amul Palekar brings in a child home,telling his wife Ambika that the little girl is the daughter of his friend who had died in an accident. Ambika showers her motherly love on that girl until one day she finds out that the child was in fact her husband's love child from another women. All hell breaks loose from then on...If someone cannot accept a child think about an adult. It will be a topic that would be best avoided for known reasons. The society does not give any "Ex" a second chance to put the differences and animosity behind, even if that person is willing. There are outlier to the garden variety group of "ex" who are able to filter that hatred for each other, untangle the relationship web, turn a deaf ear to the gossip mongers....and maintain a blissful relationship with their ex-partners.

Ladies often feel intimidated by that "Super hot" friend who steals everyone's attention and would possibly steal their man too. If you are teenager that attractive friend of yours could be a threat as boys usually carry their hearts in their pocket... and would easily lose it to a good looking dame! The more they know about our insecurities more will be the drooling episodes. As we grow up we realize( I mean both the genders) that beauty is skin deep and we need more than a pretty face to establish a long lasting relationship.

Everyone is quite cautious about that flirtatious group of men and women. Boy! I hate them like many others. Their agenda is to create havoc in a serious relationship and nothing else. In one of our hospital parties I witnessed one such act. This young male doctor Sanjay had his eyes on his female colleague Anjali and he made sure that he announced it to the world that evening! Anjali was getting introduced to a senior physician in the hospital Dr.Singh and poor Dr.Singh happened to hold her hand a little longer than the usual brief hand shake. Our Casanova walks into the middle of that formal introduction and puts his hand around her. He did not stop there...he went ahead to the chief " Take your hands off of her, I know about you oldies too well". Everyone in that group had their mouth open...he gave this sermon with his hands firmly placed on her hip !! The entire evening he followed her everywhere and flirted to his heart's content. so much so that, some even thought that he was Anjali's husband. Now did Sanjay has any serious feelings for Anjali, to my knowledge "no" but he is that carefree Casanova whom you would never introduce to your partner!

Next group of people are the "Smartie pants" type. They think that they know it all and make sure that they rub it on everyone else. They are out spoken, loud and do not think twice about bragging about themselves. They impress people in the first meeting and make everyone around them feel like "nobody". A good friend of mine has this natural instinct of showing off her knowledge, materialistic possession, her awards from kindergarten to Medical college on her very first encounter. She can talk hours about treating a common cold and make every non medical person in the room open their mouth wide in an awe and every medical person roll their eyes and walk away. These self proclaimed Nobel laureate can be very annoying and it can also damage a fragile self -esteem. They are harmless, annoyance who can trigger small fights in a relationship but nothing more!

That secret admirer of yours...can be exciting, daunting and often perplexing. That gut feeling that he/she likes you but can't be sure. Very tricky group to deal with since we do not know for sure where we stand. Should I introduce him/her to my significant other? What if he/she drops the "admiration bomb" in front of my possessive partner?  What if  he/she acts indifferently out of jealously ? There lot more questions that would come to one's mind in dealing with these puzzling persona.

Good relationship as such is very difficult to establish. I feel that there is some super natural power to bring like-minded people together..." Rab ne bana di jodi" Out of the thousands of eyes we see there is one pair that strikes a chord. And out of the hundreds we have spoken to, there is one voice that speaks our heart's language. If you have that person in your life, cherish every moment with your loved one and do not worry about whom you partner gets introduced to.